Marriage can be likened to a house, and every house is built by men, using certain building materials. Wisdom is a good quality material for building your marriage and home.
Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:
Proverbs 24:3
What is wisdom? Wisdom is knowing which way to go. It is knowing how to handle situations and make them produce your desired results. Wisdom is knowing how to make it in life. When you know how to make things work in your family, you’re walking in wisdom.
Your marriage can be steady and strong, it can be an example for others to follow. There fore the foundation of your family must be laid in wisdom.
When Solomon wanted to establish the kingdom God gave him. So, when God appeared unto him and told him to ask for whatever he wanted, he asked for wisdom to rule God’s people, and God gave it to him (I Kgs. 3:9,12).
You cannot blame God or anyone else for what your home looks like. If it is not the haven you thought it would be, then you have a responsibility to search for a solution. Why becos God’s Word clearly says:
For every house is builded by some man…
#Hebrews 3:4
Wisdom is also the correct application of knowledge. So, before you can walk in wisdom, you must locate the knowledge of the Word and apply it.
God has made provisions for marriage to produce good for you and I, but we have a responsibility to develop that plan. It is like the negative film of a picture. The photographer must spend time in the darkroom developing the negative and come out with a beautiful picture. A negative must be developed before it becomes enviable.
Stop shifting blame. Accept that you are the builder of your marriage. God has provided the wisdom to build with. Be diligent and get down to work! There is no prize for the slothful (Eccl. 10:18).
Building a house is not as simple as ABC. It takes planning!
For which one of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.
#Luke 14:28-30
Intending couples must sit down during courtship and contact revelations for outstanding
Houses are of different sizes and shapes. The taller, more beautiful houses require more preparation, a deeper foundation, and they cost more. You must first desire a tower, before you can plan to build one. Don’t enter marriage without an expectation. If you expect the best, it will be yours (Prov. 23:18).
I discovered that the root cause of some people problems is their wrong idea about marriage. Your expectation would not be cut off.
God has promised to grant your expectations, whether good or bad. So, let your expectations be based on God’s Word, for it is higher than any evil experience or information you may have had or heard about marriage (Prov. 10:24).
EXPECT BETTER LIFE NOT BITTER EXPERIENCE OF PEOPLE
Ecc4:9-If the word says two it’s better than one,expect a Better life in marriage and get ready to experience it
If you are already married, there is still a chance to change all negative expectations. As a couple, discuss your positive expectations and I guarantee that things will work out more smoothly in your home.
Unmarried ladies and young men, what do you expect in marriage? Your expectations shall not be cut off! Before you got married, you should made discoveries from God’s Word that will paint the picture of a great future.
Genesis 13:13-15-GOD CANNOT GIVE WHAT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN.
Become A Doer Of The Word
Every house is as strong as it’s foundation. The blueprint is our expectation. The foundation is then laid according to the plan in the blueprint. If your expectation is to enjoy the honour in marriage, it follows that you will have to begin to do what makes for honour. The doing of the Word of God is the laying of a foundation for a fulfilled family life.
Knowledge is in hearing; but it is mere information until it is put to practice. Simply knowing the Word of God is not enough, applying it is what makes it produces for you (James 1:22).
Just like a builder puts block upon block, you put line upon line, precept upon precept of God’s Word into building your home.
When you have contacted God’s Word for every part of your family, and begin to do it,
Matthew7:24-26.-You are building a crisis proof marriage, BECOS you are Building on the on the rock,that is MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK
there will be times when you will come face to face with challenges. At such times, sit down first and allow the Holy Spirit to quicken a scripture in your heart. The more of God’s Word that is stored up in your heart, the more restful you will be. Then there will be no trouble you cannot triumph over, nor trial that will not become a testimony.
The process of building requires the counting of cost (Lk. 14:28). There is a cost for peace, a cost for love, a cost for submission, a cost for fulfilment!
Before you quarrel with your spouse over any issue, count the cost of your actions and reactions. Many times when you are angry, you say things you later come to regret. But if you learn to count the cost of the words you speak, peace will rest in your home (Prov. 15:1-2).
Operating In Wisdom (For Men)
There’s nothing of beauty that didn’t take some work to put in place. Just like every beautiful garden was tended before it became beautiful, and must continue to be tended if it must remain beautiful; in like manner, marriage must be tended before it can work, and must continue to be tended to continue working.
As a husband, the Bible instructs you to dwell with your wife according to knowledge. I like the way the Amplified version puts it:
In the same way you married men should live considerately with (your wives), with an intelligent recognition (of the marriage relation), honoring the woman as (physically) the weaker, but (realizing that you) are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. (Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.)
1 Peter 3:7 (Amp. Bible)
When a man understands the nature of his wife and works according to that understanding, problems are less likely to arise in their home. He puts less pressure on her because he realises that she is not a robot. She is a wife, mother and homemaker all at once, and these all place a demand on her. He must be considerate of her feelings and needs,and be available to minister to her.
The second clause, “giving honour unto the wife…” implies that wives are not to be treated as slaves or inferior human beings, but are to be held in respect. Their views should be sought and they should be allowed to make their contributions in the home.
When a man beats his wife he exhibits folly (Prov. 26:4). No matter how provoked, a man must never stoop so low.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
Ephesians 5:29
Beating your wife is a sin against God. Being joined in holy wedlock, God sees the couple as one that’s why He called the man and his wife “Adam” (Gen. 5:2). It was Adam who gave his wife a separate name, Eve.
Statistics have shown that more than 85 per cent of marriages in the West involved wife battering. Husband, don’t turn your wife’s body to a punching bag! Remember that her body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Lack of communication and understanding among others are.some of the reasons some men abuse and beat their wives. The man must understand that the woman was given to him by God to take care of, not to beat.
Surprisingly, the role of the husband is drawn from that of Christ towards the Church, not from any human example. Thus, as we have mentioned earlier, the man must discover the selfless way Christ loved the Church and love his wife the same way, by God’s grace.
Don’t give up on your wife. Give her honour. Don’t render evil for evil, don’t seek to repay every.wrong with a wrong, for two wrongs don’t make a right. Jesus endured all contradictions of sinners. We too can overlook certain things just as He did.
Operating In Wisdom (For Women)
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1
God, in His infinite wisdom, has planned one man for one woman. Every woman in God’s design has her own home. What becomes of that home, however, depends on the woman. This appears to be an awesome responsibility, but by the grace of God and hard work, it is accomplishable.
Abigail was a woman of wisdom, a woman with a good understanding.
Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail; and she was a woman of good understanding…but the man was churlish and evil in his doings…
ABIGAIL .
1 Samuel 25:3 -look at the example of Abigail .
It was like Abigail had made a mistake. The man she married was not what she expected. He was not a good man and they were definitely unequally yoked. Yet to have lived with him for all the years she did and got along without fighting or becoming like him in character, proved she was a woman of a wise heart. A time came when her churlish (bad mannered) husband provoked David. She mediated and saved her entire household and restrained David from avenging himself. Even if your spouse it’s not saved there is a wisdom in God to live peaceably your spouse.
Wisdom is undoubtedly the principal thing.
Learn To Adapt
I believe one wise step Abigail took was to adapt to the situation. Become adjusted to your husband have lived with him for all the years she did and got along without fighting or becoming like him in character, proved she was a woman of a wise heart. A time came when her churlish (bad mannered) husband provoked David. She mediated and saved her entire household and restrained David from avenging himself.
Wisdom is undoubtedly the principal thing.
Become adjusted to her husband’s plans, way of life, etc. This does not mean when he is going wrong you leave him or follow his ways. It simply means to be flexible to his decisions.
…Married women…adapt yourselves to them…
1 Peter 3:1 (Amp. Bible)
When he takes decisions that are different from your plans, see how you can work them out and fit in. Remember that as a believer, all things will work out for good, but you must heed the Lord’s instructions.
If he has certain weaknesses that you are strong in, help him;appreciate his good points, point out his mistakes in a kind and gentle way. Embrace wisdom, it will bring you to honour, it will promote you from mediocrity to greatness. It will make your home precious before God and men. Inside wisdom is direction, because wisdom is knowing what to do next and having a sense of direction. That sense of direction leads you to a place of distinction, a place of glorification.
When you operate in wisdom, your home begins to shine as gold. People cannot help but be attracted to you, just as the glitter of gold attracts people.
…A man’s wisdom maketh his face to shine…
Ecclesiastes 8:1
Knowing how to apply the knowledge of the Word of God is wisdom. It will help you to know how to speak positive and edifying words to your spouse, relate with your in-laws in genuine love, etc. Wisdom is therefore the principal thing for success in marriage.
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